Taverna vita eterna-en

Taverna vita eterna

 

Nun ci iri mai

Asinnò poi ci ha’ ghiri cchiossai

C’è una cura chi dura r’un’ura 

Si l’ha fare falla fuora asinnò ccà nni scula

Iu m’a tiegnu tutta rintra fino a quannu rura

Chiuiu l’occhi e viru acqua chi sbura ri mura

Ti lassu ccà e minni va’ sbacantu i rini ddà r’arrieri

Pieri doppu pieri, addivientu un pumpieri

Niesciu l’idrante ri mutanne e astutu tutti i pinzieri

Ammucciativi fichietti,

U lupunaru è pieri pieri!

 

E mi va’ asciucu un’atra birra

Chi haiu ‘u cannarozzu chinu i pruvulazzu

Iu stasira minn’è ghiri in palazzu

M’è stricari peggiu r’un cannavazzu

Er ogni cosa chi dicu a scafazzu

E a casa tornu sulu si mi ci portanu ‘mbrazzu

Si ‘un hai pobbremi iu pobbremi unni fazzu

Manciu pollo, iu l’addumu e l’ammazzu

 

E si a me vita fussi eterna

Iu ‘a passassi sana san’a taverna!

M’a spinnissi sana san’a taverna!

‘A spardassi sana san’a taverna!

E si a me vita fussi eterna

Iu ‘a lassassi sana san’a taverna!

M‘a vinnissi sana san’a taverna!

‘A lanzassi sana san’a taverna!

 

Lassatimi accussì

Ru sabbatu sira nfin’o lunedì

Sugnu troppu pa coma

Iu mi sientu una crema

Cioccolato e nocciola

Una cosa inutella!

Arricugghitimi c’a carriola

Arricugghitimi c’a barella

Direzione una sula: 

U spitale ccà vicinu!

Ahi, chi fu sta cutiddata na carina ri rini?

“Fu ca sbagliasti calcolo

Oggi a luna ‘un è china, curò!”

N’o lettinu r’u spitale 

Roppu un’ura r’aspittare

U dutturi mi taliò e mi rissi: “calcolo renale”

“Morte a tutti i sfasciallitti,

Aiutatimi fichietti!

U lupunaru è chinu i rina,

Pietri pietri s’a vitti!”

 

E mi va asciucu l’acqua Fiuggi

C’haiu i rini chini chini i pruvulazzu

Picchì assira minn’ivu in palazzu

E ‘u lupunaru ora pare un canuzzu

Er ogni cosa chi dicu a scafazzu

Però a’ taverna nun ci tornu cchiù mancu p’u cazzu

I problemi mi fannu ‘mbarazzu

E a Cappuccettu s’uncocciu l’ammazzu

 

E si a me vita fussi eterna

Iu ‘a passassi sana san’a taverna!     

M’a spinnissi sana san’a taverna!

‘A spardassi sana san’a taverna!

E si a me vita fussi eterna

Iu ‘a lassassi sana san’a taverna!

M‘a vinnissi sana san’a taverna!

‘A lanzassi sana san’a taverna!

Taverna vita eterna

 

Don’t go now (1)

Or you’ll never ever stop going

There’s an hour-long queue

If you’ve really got to do it, do it out here, or it’ll just start pouring out

I’m holding it in ‘till I can’t resist anymore

I close my eyes and I see water squirting from the walls

Just gimme a tiny second while I empty my bladder just around there

Step by step, I’ll become a fireman

I’ll take the hose out of my pants and extinguish my problems

Out of the way hipsters,

The werewolf is in town!

 

I’m going straight for another pint

‘Cause my throat is full of dust

Tonight I’m going to make a big splash

I’m going to rub up worse than a dishcloth

And I’m going to screw up every single thing I say

And I’m going home only if they carry me

If you don’t bother, I won’t bother you

I’ve got sticky fingers, I light it and I put it out (2)

 

And if my life were eternal

I’d live it all at the tavern

I’d spend it all at the tavern

I’d waste it all at the tavern

And if my life were eternal

I’d just leave it all at the tavern

I’d sell it all to the tavern

I would throw it all up at the tavern

 

Leave me here, like this

From saturday evening ‘till monday

I am so wicked

Ok, I’m done

Shattered like a chocolate cake

On the floor

Pick me up on a wheelbarrow

Pick me up on a stretcher

One direction:

The nearest hospital

Ouch, what was that? A knife in my kidney?

“You got the maths wrong, mate,

It’s not a full moon tonight!”

After almost an hour 

On a hospital bed

My doctor looked at me a said: “kidney stone”

Death to all slackers,

Help me, hipsters!

The werewolf is full of sand,

He’s officially stoned!”

 

I’m going to shove this pint of diuretics down my throat

‘Cause my kidneys are full of dust

Tonight I made a big splash

And the werewolf has turned into a puppy

And I screw up every single thing I say

But I promise I’m not setting a single foot in the tavern anymore

Problems just clutter the house

And if I see Little Red Riding Hood again, I’ll kill her

 

And if my life were eternal

I’d live it all at the tavern

I’d spend it all at the tavern

I’d waste it all at the tavern

And if my life were eternal

I’d just leave it all at the tavern

I’d sell it all to the tavern

I would throw it all up at the tavern

 

  1. The “Tavern-Goer’s Pocket Manual” clearly says that going to the toilet after the first stimulus is firmly discouraged, and it recommends holding it in as long as possible to avoid unlocking an unstoppable series of compulsive urinations.
  2. (slang, hashish and marijuana smokers) : among a group of smokers, the person taking too long to pass the joint to somebody else is said to have sticky fingers.